on the wounds/one

let's have this out now. my teeth are growing long and my skin's tight. i think i'm spoiling for a fight. this new damage, this new era of maturity, this posturing bullshit we claim as our own. we are nothing special. we are scum, ordinary. we think we dream big, but we dream selfish. there's nothing new coming out of our mouths, just quickfire behind our backs. so let's have this out now, lance the boil, scream and tear ourselves apart beyond repair. the day sits heavy on my stomach, your stupid laughter in my ears. i'm skinning my knuckles in advance. i am a bitch of the best proportions, i am queen of the indignant and the bored. and you, you're prey.

x

been building for weeks. i should have known. i did know, i just didn't want to admit it. i'm the problem, with my overthinking and my irritability. i'm the problem, you're the agitant. go on and tell them, tell them all how nervy i am, how self obsessed. doesn't bother me at all. but give me back that moment. give me that, and i might not ruin everything.

x

sometimes, i find home.
sometimes, i wish i hadn't shared it with people.
sometimes, i wish i'd never shared it with you.